Aftercare Done Right
Aftercare is what happens at the end of a kink or BDSM scene. Each person has different needs at the end of a scene and when you are new it might be difficult to anticipate what your needs might be. Before a scene begins, during your negotiation phase, you should make sure to share with your partner any aftercare needs that you have. Some people need a bottle of water, chocolate, a snuggly blanket, a stuffed animal, or just cuddles from their partner. Other people like to disconnect and be left alone with the thoughts and emotions brought up during a scene. Some people feel a euphoric high that results in a burst of energy and excitement. Still other people might be in subspace and feel floaty and disassociated. Whatever your needs are, they are valid. Each person should have their needs understood and honored by their partner.
As the endorphins and hormones that were surging through your body begin to ebb, you may notice feelings of sadness, depression, or general malaise. This is commonly referred to as "drop." These feelings can come immediately after a scene, but typically show up a day or two after the scene is over. It is important to follow-up with your partner after a scene and check in to see how they are feeling and what you can do to support them. Although sub drop is a more common term, the drop feelings can just as likely affect the Dom/Domme/Top as well.
If you struggle with your mental health, it is very important to remind yourself that these feelings are temporary and that they are only caused by the intense situation that you endured. The drop feelings should be gone within a week. If the feelings continue to linger beyond a week, it might be wise to discuss the feelings with a medical professional.
BDSM/kink scenes can be very intense experiences. Proper aftercare is paramount to ensuring that all participants have the best experience possible and continue to enjoy the lifestyle for years to come!
With Power and Pleasure,
Ginger Figgs
CEO of Bliss Box
